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Mental picture of ourselves are developed over time, starting when we're very young and through each of our school days. We all have a mental picture of who we are, how we look, what we're good at, what our weaknesses might be and what we wish we were or looked liked. A lot of our self-image is based on interactions we have with other people which contributes to our self-esteem. But more often than not we are our own worst evaluator. There is always that one person who seems to be the star pupil or employee no matter where the person goes or what they do. What is the secret?

Self Esteem

The star resume reveals good, but not outstanding educational grades and solid work experience and skills. It doesnít scream over achiever but it looks neat, professional and organized. What's so special?

Itís not what is on the paper but what is in the person that stands out and screams ďIím the candidate you wantĒ. Confidence but not cocky and a positive self-image with a ďI-can-do-it spirit". This is the quality that drives careers forward and past whatever difficulties stand in the way.

Recruiters meet several people in a week and can instantly spot the candidates that wear the invisible badge that reads ďHi, Iím your newest client.Ē Recruiters prize self-esteem knowing it's essential for a successful career candidate.

In a person with a healthy and positive self-esteem, you will find four basic qualities:

  1. Self-confidence
  2. Faith in oneself
  3. A positive self-image
  4. Freedom from fears of success and failure

Individuals with secure self-esteem take responsibility for their actions when things go wrong. They insist on living up to their own standards but understand that others must follow their own standards not someone elseís. They are motivated to reach new and challenging goals even when it seems impossible. When things do go wrong, they donít look around to see who is to blame but to see what can be learned from the experience.

Self-confidence

Confidence is a belief in yourself and your abilities, both learned and natural. Make a list of the skills you have learned and the talents you believe come naturally to you.

  • Are you able to remain calm and collected in chaotic situations?
  • Are you patient with people?
  • Are you able to see the humorous side of bad circumstances?
  • Do people often ask you to show them how to do something such as use computers?

Whenever doubt starts to creep towards you, focus on your skills and talents. This will help you maintain your positive attitude and build self esteem.

Faith in oneself

Have faith in yourself. Faith in ourselves gives us the power to survive serious disappointments and defeat. Our faith gives us a shield against being overcome by stress or bad circumstances beyond our control. Listen to your instincts, that is self-faith telling us something we may not immediately recognize. Though our confidence may waver under stress, our faith in ourselves reminds us of our abilities that we know to be truth.

A positive self-image

Improving your self-image is similar to improving any other skill, which takes time and practice. By working from the inside out (changing our way of thinking and than changing the circumstances around us), we build self-esteem. To strengthen your self-image we must encourage a positive (but realistic) attitude toward ourselves and avoid people, friends and acquaintances that donít appreciate us. Self-esteem isn't self-absorption; it's self-respect.

Freedom from fears of success and failure

Some people fear their own success. They are afraid to be successful which is actually different from fearing failure. These twisted opinions and biases, about who we think we are can make us afraid of being successful; we may think, ďI donít deserve it.Ē To gain freedom from fears of success and failure we must know that we most definitely deserve success and failure is nothing more than a lesson that moves us closer to our goals.

No single quality is more important than the other. All four work together as a team. They support each other and help anther when one is slipping. They team up and argue against that negative inner voice that tears apart our self-esteem. Some people get so used to the inner critic that they don't even notice when they're putting themselves down. Developing the four self-esteem qualities will shrink the negative inner voice and be nothing more than annoyance. But we must allow ourselves to believe in ourselves and develop those qualities.

No single quality is more important than the other. All four work together as a team. They support each other and help anther when one is slipping. They team up and argue against that negative inner voice that tears apart our self-esteem. Some people get so used to the inner critic that they don't even notice when they're putting themselves down. Developing the four self-esteem qualities will shrink the negative inner voice and be nothing more than annoyance. But we must allow ourselves to believe in ourselves and develop those qualities.

Driving your low self-esteem into a positive one can be hard work but you have to not only believe that itís possible but also demand it from yourself. You must tell yourself that you are talented and skilled. Create a mental picture of the person you want to be and than become that person. Donít associate with negative people who love to be miserable and complain about what they canít or donít have. You already have the qualities to be the person who is the star pupil or employee, the secret is inside of you, you only need to develop them to produce what it is you want.

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