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Off Beat Christmas Stories / Movies

The Bishop's Wife (1948)

An episcopal Bishop, Henry Brougham, has been working for months on the plans»» for a new cathedral paid for by a stubborn widow. He is losing sight of his family and of why he became a churchman in the first place. Enter Dudley (Cary Grant), an angel sent to help him. Dudley does help everyone he meets, but not necessarily in the way they would have preferred. With the exception of Henry, everyone loves him, but Henry begins to believe that Dudley is there to replace him, at work, and in his families affections, as Christmas approaches.

Feel good movie with laughs

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)

Martian children are depressed. Why? Well it's because they've been watching Earth tv and realized that they don't have any toys or Santa Claus or Christmas on Mars. Isn't that sad? Kimar, who is the leader of the Martian people, decides that desperate times call for desperate measures and he formulates a plan to kidnap Santa Claus and bring him to Mars so that he can make the Martian children happy again. YEA!

While on Earth, they kidnap two lively children that lead the group of Martians to the North Pole and Santa. The Martians then take Santa and the two children back to Mars with them. Unfortunately, his chief rival, Voldar, has other plans, and does everything he can to sabotage Kimar's plan of bringing Christmas to the red planet. Boooooo Voldar, a particularly grumpy Martian (probably watched too much Saturday night Earth TV shows), attempts to do away with the children and Santa before they get to Mars, but their leader Lomas stops him. When they arrive on Mars, Santa, with the help of the two Earth children and a rather simple-minded Martian lackey, overcomes the Martians by bringing fun, happiness and Christmas cheer to the children of Mars. YEA!

Even for 1964 the costumes»» are pretty cheeseball but it's definitely a must see for B Flick Cool.

Die Hard (1988)

Tough New York cop»» John McClane finds himself in a tight situation on Christmas Eve when an office building in Los Angeles is taken over by terrorists. Apart from himself, everyone else in the building - including his wife - is held at gunpoint while their captors spell out their demands. The F.B.I. are called in to survey the situation, but John Mcclane has other plans for the terrorists. "Yippee-ki-yay,"

Bruce Willis and his memorable quotes is why you watch Die Hard.

Holiday Inn (1942)

Two retiring show people start up a New England country inn»» with the unique and, one would think, self-defeating idea of being open only on national holidays. Linda Mason has crooner (male song siren) Jim Hardy head over heels, but suave stepper (dancer) Ted Hanover wants her for his new dance partner after femme fatale Lila Dixon gives him the brush. Jim's supper club, Holiday Inn, is the setting for the chase. Classic old Hollywood style, grace and elegance...

Why see it?
The music's the thing for this movie.

Gremlins (1984)

The backdrop of a picturesque snow-covered town at Christmas offers maximum potential for villainous amusement. What makes this film»» so superb is the amazing contrast between the adorably cute teddy bear with huge ears Mogwai and the evil mischief of the evil looking Care Bear Gremlins and they're ever so appalling (tremendously funny and sorta cute) havoc with a lack of respect for anything decent and summed up by their attitude towards the festive season: Santa is ambushed, carols are ruined and Christmas trees become traps...

Memorable movie moment:

Who doesn't love the scene of all the Gremlins watching and singing (as best they can) along to Snow White?

What kind of movie would you make?»»

Speaking of green baddies

How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966) (the original)

A grumpy hermit hatches a plan to steal Christmas from the Whos of Whoville. It's one of Dr. Seuss's many classic stories, but unlike with his other stories, he brought his talents»» to a Christmas story and managed to make it as excellent as the rest of the classics Christmas films.

Movie Trivia
The famous and infamous Boris Karloff was the Narrator / the Grinch in the movie.

You Better Watch Out (1980)

Recognized (or should be) as one of the best of the Christmas horror efforts. This is the story of a boy who loves Christmas. He is scarred as a boy when he learns that Santa is not real. Throughout the rest of his life, the toy maker»» tries to make the Christmas spirit a reality. He becomes obsessed with the behavior of children and the quality of the toys he makes. When he is met with hypocrisy and cynicism, the resulting snap causes him to go on a yuletide killing spree to complete this dark comedic horror.

Sounds like a spin off of Michael Jackson's life - B Cheese -

Christmas Vacation (1989)

It's Christmas time and the Griswolds are preparing for a family seasonal celebration. Clark is obsessed with making everything go perfectly during the holiday season, but as soon as everyone arrives, things start going haywire, especially when the Griswolds receive some uninvited surprise guests from Kansas. Clark manages to keep things going as he waits for his Christmas bonus from work so he'll have enough money to have a swimming pool put in the back yard. But it turns out that Clark's boss, a scrooge whose name is Frank Shirley, does not intend to give out any Christmas bonuses this year, and this causes Clark to snap and act crazy.

Memoriable Christmas Vacation movie quotes.

Bethany: Is your house on fire, Clark?
Clark: No, Aunt Bethany, those are the Christmas lights.

Clark: Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?

Jack Frost (1997)

  • Tagline: He's chillin...and killin
  • Plot Outline A serial killer dies, comes back as a snowman, and wreacks havoc.

  • What more do you need to know?

    For those who are Jewish

    The Hebrew Hammer (2002)

    • Tagline: Part man. Part street. 100% kosher.
    • Plot Outline An orthodox Jewish blaxploitation hero saves Hanukkah from the clutches of Santa Claus's evil son.
    • Plot Synopsis: Mordechai Jefferson Carver, aka the Hebrew Hammer, is an Orthodox stud who goes on a mission to save Hanukkah. When

    Santa Claus's evil son Damian is pushed over the edge by his father's liberal policies, he does away with the Christian patriarch. Subsequently stepping into his father's role, Damian launches a campaign to eradicate the Jewish Holiday. The Hammer joins forces with Esther, the gorgeous and dangerous daughter of the leader of the Worldwide Jewish Media Conspiracy, and his brother-in-arms Mohammed, head of the Kwanzaa Liberation Front, to topple Santa's evil progeny and to save Hanukkah for future generations of Jews.

    Do what you love»»


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